I was honestly very shocked when i weighed myself this week and had lost nothing. I had worked so hard at the gym, hadn't overeaten - my own treat was two samosas. I was that upset that one my way to see Nerina at Ginglik i bought a packet of toffees and ate them all. If i'm going to maintain i might as well at least have said that i've eaten something worth it!

Stupid, i know, but i'm starting again. I have swopped my rice for a very small home made pasta salad. Pasta, Cherry tomatoes, salsa and 4 or 5 slices of smoked sausage. I am very hungry now, but i want to seea 2lbs lose this week. I really, really do.

My cooking went well. I did cod and prawns in a curry sauce, and froze one portion. Then Sunday, before driving down to London, I did Lentils in a simillar sauce and froze two portions.

Anyway, back to sunday night. The first band playing was The Storys who are a welsh band, not bad. The Rumer played a couple of songs. I was quite impressed and am planning on going ot see her on March. Then Nerina who was in good voice and a great dress!

It was lovely to see everyone again, it is so nice to be with people who just love music!

posted by small 4:46 PM

It was snowing really quite hard this morning. The cat was desperate to go outside, but fortunately didn't stay out too long, as i really didn't want him to be outside all day in the conditions we are having!

I am giving serious thought to try to do my own version of Dhal. I do really like it, and Lentils are very cheap and filling. And good for me! I'm going to need to start building up my spice collection. I think that a lot of the time i am often put of cooking because i don't have the ingredients to hand, so i am going to rectify at least part of that tonight.

I had a good PT session last night. Alex is going to get me to do lots of work on the elliptical trainer. I don't enjoy it because it works me hard! But it didn't hurt my knee so that was a bonus.

I still haven't heard from my tutor - which is a bit concerning really.

posted by small 5:53 PM

I am sooo hungry I could easily murder 2 samosas right now. It is lucky that i am going to the gym straight after work.

This week seems to be a lot harder, i just seem to be constantly hungry. I'm eating more, which is not good, but it's still healthy stuff. I'm really at a bit of a loss now.

posted by small 5:38 PM

I posted my TMA through my tutors door, and sent him an email asking if this was ok as soon as i got home. I haven't heard back yet, so i'm a bit nervous. I'm sure it's alright, but he seems a lot stricter than tutors i have had in the past. etma's are much easier to deal with in this respect!

I did cook pasta last night, and it was very tasty. I did enough so that i was able to freeze a portion. I think i'm getting into it now, and i feel quite a sense of pride at opening up my freezer and seeing meal stored in there which i cooked myself!
<>PI have some cod pieces which i want to use up as i thought it was rather bland by itself (it was a shame they don't seem to do the salmon anymore). Maybe some kind of curry or chinese dish? As i am not it too much of a hurry this saturday, i might have an experiment and see what I can do with it.

posted by small 1:06 PM

Not a very god day eating wise yesterday, never mind. I did have a good Balance class though, my abs are sore today from a decent ab track! Claire, with whom i did Balance at living well, is no longer taking this class. Instead the instructor is Jayne who is really a very good instructor. I worked hard as she constantly reminds you to push yourself! I also asked her if there was an alternative for dancers pose. I can now do it on my left leg (with my right leg supporting), but i just cannot grab a hold of my right foot on the inside. I am not too fussed, it will come eventually. I didn't do too badly on the left considering it's the first time i did it properly.

left my rice at home today, so i had to go back to my traditional jacket potato. I am still hoping that i will lose this week however, and stick to my target of reaching under 13 stone by the end of March. Tonights dinner is wholemeal pasta with tomatoes and quorn sasuages. Very filling and pretty good for me too. I must say that the Quorn sausage are rather nice, and i think pretty tasty.

I will be dropping off my TMA tonight, and I hope to complete the block today, or at least make a good stab at it. The next TMA is due in on the 15th March, which isn't exactly far off, so i need to make a start on that this weekend.

posted by small 4:51 PM

I lost 2lbs this week! Yey me! I am setting myself the goal of getting under 13 stone by the end of March. As I am currently 13 stone 6 I feel that this is an achievable goal. I'm not having the best day today, I am very hungry and had two samosas. OH well. At least it's not samosas AND crips, AND chocolate.

I've been thinking a lot recently on what I would do if i did not have to pay my mortgage (my largest outgoing). I would really like to join the JET programme, and going and live and work in Japan for a a year on the JET programme. You have to be under 40, so i've got 10 years to try and achieve that!

I've discovered that I have to pay for my web hosting this month, so I am not going to do very well at all. Oh well, it cannot be helped really. Now that I am using MS Money i'm going to really work hard at budgeting. I'm going to avoid going shopping, and thereby just spending money on nothing. I do need to buy a new pair of black trousers (mine are nearly grey now!) and boots (very worn), so i am hoping I can find something reasonably cheap from Asda. I think my little treat this month will be 3 books. For the rest of my time i'm going to focus on studying and exercising, and eating well cheaply.

I am really enjoying going to gigs, but the petrol to London is really costing me (I could get the train, but i'm not sure how safe i would feel about getting the tube at around 11pm at night...). I think the next one (apart from Nerina on Sunday) might be K T Tunstall in May. It's in Brum, and is 9 quid. Very reasonable, and i can probably even get the bus home!

Maybe I could go an a Spanish study holiday. A week in Madrid learning Spanish could be good fun, especially if i go after the A209 exam. The temperature would be between 5 and 12 degrees

posted by small 5:26 PM

REM at the Apollo was a real treat. Mostly newish songs, but a few older ones thrown in: 7 chinese brothers, Orange Crush, and Swan Swan H! I never thought i would hear that last one live.

Here is the set list:


I took your name

Animal

Undertow

The outsiders

Seven Chinese Bros.

High speed train

Everybody hurts

Electron blue

Leaving New York

I´ve been high

Departure

Orange crush

I wanted to be wrong

Final straw

Imitation of life

The one I love

Walk unafraid

Losing my religion



***********

What´s the frequency, Kenneth?

Bad day

Sweetness follows

Swan, swan H

Electrolite

I´m gonna Dj

Man on the moon

A totally rocking set, apart from Sweetness Follows, which i don't think really worked.

posted by small 10:10 AM

Ok - so my birthday money exactly covers the REM ticket, so I am OK there. I'm just going to have to admit that this month I have really badly overspent. Nect month is also going to be difficult as it's mums birthday AND mothers day. I believe I can cut down on the amount i am spending on food, and I am not planning on travelling anywhere much (apart from work!) so that should cut down the petrol bill.

I've also remembered that in Feb and March there is now council tax to pay, so this is a blessing. This means that my major payments this month are a)petrol and b)credit card. As I am transferring 50 pounds from my savings into my bank account, i think I will actually not be too badly off.

I'm still going to have to radically look at how much I am spending and cut down. No evenings out this month. I have my blockbuster card where i can get two DVD rentals for the price of one. I am giving serious thought to signing up fo one of those postage dvd rental places. For about 8 quid a month at blockbuster I can over 1 dvd out at a time, but unlimited dvd's out over the month. This compares with 2 new releases from blockbuster or choices. I would only need to rent 3 every month for this to be viable.

I have to say though, that the rice cooker (which I bought with christmas money from my grandparents) has been an excellent buy. It cooks rice perfectly, and when i do plain rice i can batch freeze it, and thai rice gets done every couple of days for lunches. Much more cost effective that the lunches i was buying.

I have nearly finished tma01 for a209. I have about 100 words left to write, although i am struggling somewhat. I am going to have a go at doing some of the typing tonight. This will get a lot out of the way, so that I can think and finish typing on Saturday before going to REM!!!

posted by small 4:28 PM

I have just looked at my bank statement. I have 50 quid to last until March.

This is a problem. I can easily spend this on petrol alone, never mind things like eating. I am at something of a loss now. I am going to have to raid one of my emergency accounts, as i am certain the council won't be happy if i don't pay my council tax.

I can see i'm going to have to try very hard to curb my spending next month.

All these trips to London....

posted by small 4:19 PM

It WAS my birthday on Monday - thank you for remembering!

So my weekend was absolutely jam packed full. First off to the gym. Alex, my PT is getting quite disheartened at the fact that last week i put on 2lbs...so i just did cardio at the gym.

Then i raced home to drop off my gym stuff, and then headed into Town for my tutorial. I weighed myself...i had LOST 3lbs! I guess my Lent resolution of giving up crisps and chocolate is paying off. I hope I can lose 2lbs this week, as this would bring me under 13 and a half stones, which is a major milestone. Keep those fingers crossed. Then the tutorial. I like my tutor, he has a rather rye sense of humour, and is very interesting about his subject. Hopefully i will be up to the task.

Then i got my hair cut and coloured and i was not home until nearly 6! Then i went into town, i was meeting people at Bar Epernay. It was a pretty sad evening on the whole. Mel and Bryan left at 9, and Joolz and her friend Sally left at 9:45. I was really upset by that. Mel and Bryan has a good excuse, but Joolz left to meet up with other people.

ortunately Lindsay and Darren were still there, Lindsay has 3 weeks to go before the new baby arrives, and they were so kind to me, suggesting that we go and eat. It wasn't how i had planned my birthday night (i was up for drinking and dancing all night!), but i considered myself lucky to have a friend like Lindsay.

Sunday i went to combat and then in the evening i drove down to Shepherds Bush to see Nerina at Ginglik. I took a rather long way there, but still made it in an hour and a half. I parked in the big multistory and eventually (after knocking at 3 wrong doors, and having to get the owners to come and show me the right door!) found my way to the teeny tiny place that is Ginglik. I saw Riccardo immediately who waved me over, and Nerina was not far behind. She gave me a big hug and thanked me for coming.

It was a great gig, Helen Boulding was supporting and she was a lot better than a remember. Nerina was on top form, and i told her afterwards that she had to be more positive. She is very talented, and this year she is going to be BIG.

The other Nerina fans persuaded me that i should come done again on the 27th. Well as it only took me 2 hours to get home, i am definately going to do that. Richard is a member, and he very kindly offered to have me down as his guest.

IT is so nice to be with people who love music, and don't make you feel bad for liking "strange" things. Joolz laughed at me liking Brazilian pop. I say - whatever makes you feel good: listen to it!

Monday, on my actual birthday i went to Joolz. It was very quiet.

I am more determined than ever that I am going to change my life for the better.

posted by small 5:36 PM

That guy at work definately is not for me. I am still being nice to him, and was recommending books to read. He said that he didn't live to read, and that i should go out more. Well, maybe i would if anyone said yes to me asking them out! Geez. Just plain mean.

I am now up to 300 words on my TMA. I probably won't have too much time on Saturday as i will be at the tutorial and then going out for a few drinks. Sunday, I have decided to head down to London to see Nerina at Ginglik, i do hope i will be able to get some writing done then. The reason i am going is that i may be able to pick up a ticket for REM! One of the other ladies on the nerina mailing list is no longer going, and i'm going to buy her ticket off her. I am so excited! I will probably do the same and drive down and back up again. This is something i have wanted to do for ten years, i am absolutely thrilled.

I don't really have the money to do either, but i do need some serious cheering up.

I will have to be stricter with myself and say that i must do 150 words a night, rather than 50!

Day three of lent - still not eaten any crisps or chocolate!

posted by small 5:33 PM

Day two of Lent. I had no chocolate or crisps yesterday, which is a major achievement.

I am getting rather sick of the emails from tescos which keep saying that it's my last chance to order roses for V Day. It's just too cruel!

Did i mentioned that i signed back up with dating direct? I sent a couple of messages, got one reply from a guy who said we had nothing in common. Charming! I will keep on trying.

posted by small 5:28 PM

Finally got around to watching the second episode of the Rotters Club. So obviously supposed to be KE, but i love the fact that it's set in Brum. Much of the time, people take the piss out of Birmingham and laugh at Brummie accents. The accents aren't very close. Some people have said it's in accurate, and that some of the characters would have had much stronger accents. I disagree, having gone to the school that the female characters go to (the one with the hats!) my accent changed and it is very different to my sister's accent. Mind you, the parents who would have had the strong accents....well maybe they had to be less strong, a strong accent an be hard to understand.

It's very strange watching it, as my own period at that school was the late 80's, but even then at 16 i was an avid reader of the NME, no Barbarella's now, but me and my friends would go to places like Edwards and Mosely for gigs. I didn't get a school bus, but the bus stop at the bottom of the road to go into town was always packed out with boys and girls from the two schools.

Thank you to Keef for leaving a comment, i love my readers! I am slightly more cheerful. I was quite distressed on Monday. I am trying to be proactive. I signed up again with dating direct, but i'm really running out of ideas and places to meet blokes.

I have given up chocolate and crisps for lent. They are doing me no good, and will certainly be a challenge.

posted by small 5:25 PM

What a mistake. SO i asked the guy out. Turns out, that he is now going out with his friend.

It took a lot of courage for me to do that, I am not exactly the most confident person in the world and very, very shy. And now i am completely devastated.

Steve says that it's this guys loss....but it isn't, is it? He now has someone, and i am still alone!

I pray almost every night that i might meet someone, and it simply never happens. I try and be proactive and i just end up getting humiliated.

I really am so very very tired of being by myself. There is no upside, just a lot of time spent being very lonely. I fill my time with studying, and puzzling and playing with Charlie. I go to the gym, I try and be as nice as i can, and yet...

There must be something fundamentally wrong with me.

Don't mind me, i'm just more than a little upset. Tomorrow i will be better, and back to trying to think of ways to meet nice blokes.

posted by small 11:49 PM

I didn't go to combat yesterday, but stoned instead. I thought i was just being lazy, but today i am feeling rather unwell. I guess it was my subconcsious telling me that i was in fact nto well, and should conserve my energy. I did contemplate going to balance tonight, but as they day has gone on i feel as if i just want to go home and curl up in bed.

Actually stoning was fun, chatting away with like-minded people.

One thing about going to the London Gathering/film festival was that i chatted to Gary (who says i have to put happy things in here!) He said that he was single for 12 years, and he is now married to the lovely Kris. So there is hope for me.

I have started on TMA01 of A209. I have about 150 words written of 1000. I mean to write 50 every day. I have a tutorial on Saturday, so i am hoping that this will help too. It's basically 4 sections of 250 words. I made a good start on the first section with just over 100 words, and the second with 50.

posted by small 6:00 PM

I'm a superstar! Ok, so i had my 2 seconds of fame at "Stoners" the movie.

It was a slightly odd film, in that it focused on a few people, and didn't (i feel) represent the community at a whole. How could it? Still, it was nice to meet friends old and new, and solve some puzzles. My team won this time! I bagged a The Stone t-shirt. Sadly i am too big to wear it, but i hope,

Not much hope as i put in 2 pounds this week. I have no idea how as i don't feel i have eaten much. I am getting serious this next week.

I feel like i am coming down with a cold. urgh.

I gathered some courage last night, well a bit anyway, and sent an email to the guy asking him if he wanted to go out into brum next saturday.

No reply yet.

posted by small 10:53 PM