I've not written in ages. My car got fixed - hurrah! It cost me over 300 pounds, which came straight from my car fund. That was supposed to be in there to pay for my next service, but hey it needed to be done. I will try and build the fund up again. I am making in roads into the last bit on my credit card, and i really hope to be debt free by July.
posted by small 4:23 PM

Things are going from bad to worse. My car is broken and it's going to cost 600 pounds ( at least) to fix. Also my colleagues in India are complaining about me. This time i haven't even done anything wrong. It's very much that if i do something they don't like, they complain, but if they do something wrong it is covered up. So constantly i am the bad person. I hoped that getting the new job i would be able to escape, but since i didn't...

I am scared of losing my job. I am really beginning to struggle.

posted by small 9:34 AM

Found out that i didn't get the job i interviewed for. I apparently gave a good interview, but a) the job has been advertised wrongly and b)i don't have enoough experience at the wrongly advertised grade. I'm tired of this. I cna't find anything else that i can do for enough money to keep my house. I can't even sell and downsize because house prices have gone up so much. Sometimes i wish i could be made redundant with a big fat redundancy cheque.

Maybe, i don't know. Just...i need to move off this project. I need a major confidence boost. It's taken quite a hammering of late, with not much to bolster it up.

I need to put more effort into studying. It's been lax of late, and the extra weeks of wiggle room i created have gone. Still, the new books haven't arrived yet. But i could be getting on with tmas and cmas.

posted by small 3:09 PM

Not a good skating lesson this week. It was especially frustrating as i have now shelled out 70 quid for my own skates. I realise that they are freshly sharpened, but i was wobbling all over the shop, and my feet kept rolling inwards. I am determined to get used to them, so i'm planning on skating on Thursday (i'm off work). I will not let them beat me.

The biggest factor holding me back is my weight. I try and try not to eat too much, and i am now skating and run/walking - but it doesn't seem to make a blind bit of difference.

I have blisters on the back of my legs from where the skates rubbed, but that can be corrected with longer socks. They hurt on my instep, although they were doing that in the shop. They are always going to hurt there as my feet as my feet are just so wide that they don't make skates in that width. If i lose weight it will help.

I was just so cross and frustrated. 70 pounds is an awful lot of money and to get out there and wobble and fall over and stuggle to keep my ankles up right left a bitter taste.

Still, we did more gliding, forward fishes and started some backward work. I'm going to try and continue, but i think i'll be in the same group, i don't seem to be picking this up too fast. I have to try harder to lose weight.

One of the instructors said she would look out and see if she could get me some second-hand figure skates, and see if they were any different. But hey, at least the pain was less than in the hire skates.

Maybe i'm coming down with something, i feel cold today.

posted by small 2:50 PM